“See I don’t trust you as much as I trust my younger daughter. She pretends to be like you, but she is very different, she is caring and responsible- like a care taker! You just have your own good life that is my major concern for now!” she ended up while insulting my care and concern for my family. It’s not just once, she did it for several times. Earlier, it wasn’t rudeness but the fear out of concern! Now it sounds more like her rudeness however it is not and it is still her concern.
When same person says same thing for many times, or different people curse you for same thing, definitely, something is wrong with you. After realizing this, you still stay same and then you regret about your habits of being wrong for them. You just can’t help it. Though you never wanted it, you have already hurt bunch of people who are affectionate towards you or may be towards their own feelings.
Last night, I just thought about it. Graph was not planned but very much messy. Right from my food habits, everything is just not up to the mark. Her concern is like an ordinary motherhood- something like-who will marry her? Will she get good life? Will she recover with her backbone pain? Will her groom accept her with spects, teeth, and looks? Will her smartness prove unnecessary and foolish? Or will she get the happiness? Everything is visionary. Well in that case, I am not at all visionary. As she says always, “I live temporary life”. My concern and emotions are gambler; they play with themselves and ultimately end up with great wall of depression. She knows it very well; in fact she was the one who recognized it first. Hence I was crucial topic of her untold personal anxiety.
Many times, she asked me so many questions. According to her, they are the easiest questions for girls to answer, but I find them difficult. Something like-What kind of color sheds suits her? Isn’t it a great bag? Do you want to buy this kurta? What kind of guy you are looking for? … On and on and on….. It’s not like I don’t answer them but I slowly answer them. Well I proceed slowly almost for everything; and that is another concern. “In girl’s life, you can’t decide everything so slowly. You have to get job, you have to get married, you have to raise child, be fast! Decide fast!” Biologically and mentally, this task is damn vast and never ended. And I run with the speed of turtle. It’s not like I am lazy or slow. It’s the way I live my life. Slow, Unstable, and clueless!
Ultimately, I became the only nightmare for her.
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